Sunday, December 26, 2010

When Shopping is Hilarious

Surely you're familiar with Craigslist. 

Sorry, I won't call you Shirley. 

But I assume that if you are reading a blog, then you also know a little about Craigslist...about the interwebs in general.

I've been shopping for furniture on Craigslist lately, and let me tell you, there is some interesting stuff out there.  Well, like egg chairs.

Just thought that here, while I describe some interesting things available through internet shopping, that I should include photos of the egg chairs we encountered.

Yes, there are unique pieces of furniture on Craigslist. But perhaps even more unique are the descriptions of those things. As I've been furniture shopping, I've collected a few of my favorite for you to enjoy. 

First are just the outright creative spellings:

inn table
(I guess this is just to be used at Motel 6 and places like that)

chester drawers
(Were these Chester's? Why did he give them up? Where dose he put his clothes? Is Chester a nudist all of a sudden?)

dinning table
(Perhaps this is a table that creates a lot of noise? Can a din become dinning?)

8 foot long table with centerr leaf and 4 natching chairs. "Gorgeous table and chairs"
(I feel like a pirate posted this. Arrrr, matey, you might find a centerrrr leaf! Not sure how the chairs natch, but I'd like to see that in action. And why do they put quotations around the final description? Are they joking? What a funny pirate!)

Quaint, Boxxy Electric Blue Coffee Table
(When something isn't triple-x, it's only borderline naughty. So this is clearly just a slightly raunchy table. PG-13 perhaps.)

(What? No. No.)

There is also some pretty offensive grammar on Craigslist. Much of it is just plain sad, but some of it makes the furniture itself a bit confusing:

Wood table. In very well condition.
(This table is resigned to its condition. Very well.)

Beautiful Black Kids Bedroom Suite by Ashley, The Jaidyn!
(I don't like to see racist furniture sets. Why can't ugly anglo children use this suite?)

But my favorite favorite descriptions on Craigslist are the ones that really make your mind's eye dance. Before I click on the link to see what they look like, I like to imagine what these pieces must be!

chandelier (Carved deer design)

Long, Boxy Purple Coffee Table

odd train station stand

Unique 6 Foot Tall Lamp In Shape of Elegant Lady
(I'm sure we all watched A Christmas Story yesterday, so we can really picture this one.)

But folks, this last one takes the cake. I cannot even prepare you for such verbal artistry. I want one of these for sure:

Coffee Table Fish Tank: innovate, liquid luxury... truly art in motion. Ever-changing aquatic habitat readily creates a relaxing atmosphere while offering everyday utility.

Awesome. Just flat-out awesome. 

And that's what I have to give you today. 

While I sit back and giggle over these truly tempting household items, I'm going to brainstorm about 2011 and how to approach shopping again. I have a few ideas. 

I'm playing with a plan to keep from accumulating too much in my tiny closets. I also don't want to go so hog wild that I need to take on a second job. 

And anyway, I'd like to save enough spending money for Craigslist items like those above. I'd hate to have to pass on the next Coffee Table Fish Tank!

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