What Can I Say?

I've been blog-silent, and I have no good excuse.  Especially seeing as a dress is ruling my life at the moment.

Well, no, I don't like that kind of victim mentality.  I am allowing a size 6 to rule my life right now.  I have handed over the reigns to an article of clothing that takes issue with my 6th and 7th ribs, and such a thing deserves discussion on a clothes-related blog.

Fine, so I haven't written because I'm hungry.  I'm eating like a slightly carnivorous rabbit, which ought to make me feel healthy and awesome...and most of the time it does.

But it turns out I'm teetering on the edge of total insanity, because a tiny hiccup in my day sends me into a storm of either anger, tears, or total confusion.  I blame it on EDD (extreme donut deficiency).  There is not much official documentation of this condition, but most people have actually suffered from EDD at some point in their lives.  Later on, when I'm not so busy, I'll start a foundation and have a 5K or something.

But right now, I am all "eye on the prize."  And the prize is this lovely dress, made possible by Anthro Gift Cards given to me by some very sweet friends:

Thanks, Katie and Sarah!

Thanks, Char!

I had wanted this dress ever since the shopping excursion with Mom and Sarabeth a few weeks ago.  Yes, we found The Dress for the wedding reception on that trip, but I also tried this one on and briefly fantasized about wearing it when Brendon and I elope:

Mom and sister were nonplussed at the way the 8 kinda just hung on me, so we abandoned it at the store and I tried to quit thinking about it.

Then the Bachelorette Party happened (and man, did it happen!) What a fun night.  Sister and Buddies really went all out, from decorating my house (those photos unfortunately shouldn't be published on a public site, ha ha...) to bringing over-the-top sweet gifts and taking me out. Sarah and Katie and Char so thoughtfully gave me Anthro Gift Cards, making me suddenly think about that dress in perhaps more flattering size 6.  I did some recon and managed to track it down (these dresses were going fast!  They're not even available anymore).

And after finding it, I didn't mind that it didn't completely zip up.  I mean heck, I had just eaten a whole box of Shipley's as Bachelorette Hangover Breakfast the day before, so of course there was a little extra Shannon, right?

A night like this deserved Shipley's breakfast! Ah, the Prom Face...

And of course it would be easy to slim down over the course of a few weeks...I mean, it's not like I eat a box of donuts every day, right?  Ha ha ha! Ha ha. Ha...

Now here I am.

Imagine the theme music from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly playing as I stare down the dress.  In my hand is a stick of celery instead of a gun, my weapon against its evil zipper.  Carbs?  Never heard of 'em.  Donuts? Not even sure what they are.

The dress cackles at me, makes some comment about how this town ain't big enough for the both of them (reference again to my 6th and 7th ribs).

I take a step closer: Oh yeah? I've got an appointment this Saturday with His Honor Judge Herb Evans, and I intend to take you with me.  Even if I have to hold my breath the entire time.

The dress is quivering in fear.  Oh I'm going to win this one.  And in the meantime, no silly craving for a delicious piece of buttered toast is going to keep me from blogging.  Take that, zipper!