One Bad Apple Spoils the...Box of Cookies

Pencil skirt.  Blown-dry hair.  The power blue shirt.

Funky vest that says, "I'm creative, in a demure and appropriate way."

THE Coach heels.

Five lovely copies of the resume printed on perfectly crisp resume paper, safely tucked inside the portfolio.

A box of cookies, heavy with butter and promises of happiness.

I slipped a bobby pin right in at my ear to hold back all this hair I've been growing.  I know it's a natural reaction for ladies to grow their hair out for "getting married," but truthfully I'm not sure why I did it.  So I blame it on some unexplained instinct and just shrug it off.  Literally, because it's getting pretty long.

And then Brendon dropped me off at Apple's Austin offices, where I was to execute Stage II of my attack on their HR department.

Stage I occurred about 3 weeks ago when I first decided to apply for a position there.  You see, Brendon and I are moving to Austin (more on that in a bit) and I would enjoy some form of employment when we go.  I'm thinking I could be happy in a larger office again, and there are actually several positions at Apple that appeal to me.

My thinking was that one doesn't just apply to work for Apple.  They're different, creative, funky, and I want to show that I am those things, too.  So, I um, well, I made my resume rhyme and sent it to them with 7 dozen cookies from Tiff's Treats:

The Rhyme and Reason for Hiring Shannon Kelly

WORK EXPERIENCE

2007-present                                                                                                        Spring, TX                                                                                                     

Installations Manager: Mirror Lake Landscapes, Pools, & Waterfalls

I tell the foreman what to do and through him I direct the crew

Before breaking ground or laying block I match our needs ‘gainst what’s in stock

The architect reviews with me problems that we might foresee

I prep the site and prep the crew and prep the subs we contract to

I brief the client, schedule work, then order pavers, plants, and dirt

Efficient jobs are my intent to make above 30%

But a damaged name one can’t repair so I manage clients with great care

Problems? I attack with speed, both for our crew & clients’ need

Permits and inspections too are part of what I need to do

So to pass inspections rapidly I always let inspectors see

how much we value what they do (they want to feel important, too)

I negotiate bills with subs and vendors and collect from clients (sensitive spenders)

My organization, empathy, and Spanish-speaking ability

have helped improve the business here and see our most productive year

2006-2007                                                                                                                Roswell, GA

Customer Logistics Analyst: Kimberly-Clark Professional

I managed a portfolio of customers and had to know

Where all their orders were and when they phoned I’d always answer them

I saw proper delivery of all their orders with K-C

And often worked with Transportation to speed things up at their location

When prices changed I helped them test, then devised a way to save the rest           

a week of hours, and sometimes more; now the test’s not such a chore

Through careful research I was able to find some money on the table

we’d left with quite a hefty client who up ‘til then had been defiant

of our rebate policies; I showed the boss, and he was pleased

To network in the company I joined a group for Diversity

for which I recruited members new to encourage them to network, too

So my customers were happiest with order rates that were the best

they’d seen in years; so was my leader, for pinpointing that money-bleeder

And new folks in the company were glad to find a place to be

involved and grow and to reach out, which was what that group was all about

EDUCATION

2006 BBA in Marketing, Minor in Spanish                                                     Austin, TX

The University of Texas McCombs School of Business

Classes during my 3^rd year were taken far away from here:

In Chile and in Mexico, and taught in Spanish you should know                 

SKILLS

I wish that this was not a fact—I haven’t always used a Mac

I have one at my house, you see, but at work it’s always been PC

I know Office, Quickbooks too, and Photoshop I know some too

I’ve done some work in SAP, though Dreamweaver is more for me

My Spanish skills I’m daily using

I speak it well, it’s not confusing

As may likely be your preference, I can supply you with a reference

Of course I applied online, as they request, but I figured such a sweet accompaniment (times 7) couldn't hurt.  And frankly, this is the way I've always gotten things done: with cookies and a smile.  Successfully, by the way.

But no word from Apple in this last month, so yesterday when we were in town to look at houses I decided to stage the logical next step: personal cookie delivery.  Who says no to a smiling redhead in the power blue color?

And I was at first quite encouraged.  I walked in to the first building, where I only encountered a few of the security team for the complex.  I inquired where one might head if one happened to be overtly yet kindly offering something sweet along with a resume.  The guard laughed, told me he liked my style, and directed me to the next building with a good-natured "good luck!"

And those gorgeous Coach heels carried me across the baking parking lot.  Good purchase, good purchase!  Well, good use of the Ace in the Hole.

I counted my blessings that it was not raining and that I had worn that vest, which was effectively hiding what I'm sure was a ton of sweat down my back.  No matter.  I was confident, stocked with cookies, and carrying what I felt was a fabulous resume (a more professional, non-rhyming kind).

Two more attempts at entry, both at incorrect doors.  Kindly, hip-looking Apple folk directed me towards the next buildings, where I finally ended up at the wrong door again.  The signs I'd seen everywhere requesting that visitors use the main entrance were posted there, and I asked a lady where to find this elusive portal to their forward-thinking, trendy world.

She smiled and just told me to follow her in, which I at first tried to decline based on Security's request that strangers not "tailgate."

But I was sweating, perched in heels, and weighed down by some now rather heavy cookies.  She insisted I follow her, then showed me the proper doors and reception desk inside.  It was only a few yards away, and I thanked her as I made my way to the two ladies at the desk.

These ladies were just not the kind of folk I had run into so far at Apple.  Perhaps they didn't like vests.  Perhaps they had just eaten a bad lunch.  Possibly they just get irritated at flagrant dismissal of important rules, like "no tailgating."

But they did not smile at my requests.  They did not like that I had a resume with me.  And they certainly did not want my cookies.  My charms were wasted on them, and they stood almost immediately and began dialing what I instinctively felt must have been Security.

I tried to give them my cookies without the resume, the latter of which they coldly told me was only accepted electronically through Apple's website.  No, they did not want my cookies.

Of course not, they were probably full after eating their young.

I ran out the door before Security could show up.  I dispensed a few cookies among young gentlemen returning from lunch on my way to the car, none of whom, unfortunately, would take my resume.  Brendon collected me before anyone could hit me with a billy stick and we drove off.

So honestly I felt extremely discouraged in those first 5 minutes.  I was hot and overwhelmed and suddenly felt very stupid about my vest, the cookies, and my perfect shoes.

Then I changed back into comfy clothes at a coffee shop, sipped some iced tea with a very comforting hubby, and began to get the giggles as I thought of it all.

Brendon offered that getting near-escorted out by Security was probably the worst thing that could happen while looking for a job, and now I'd gotten that out of the way.  "It can only get better," he observed.

And he's right.  It can only get better.  And now I don't have any regrets.  I don't think I'd ever have felt that I did everything I could if I hadn't shown up in person with my signature box of baked goods.  I'd be sweeping the floors somewhere making 50 cents a day, wondering what ever would have happened if I'd only brought cookies to Apple back when I was a young married and full of hope.

And really, there was just too much to be excited about yesterday.  We found a house we love and put in an offer.  I must say that a year without shopping makes these crazy-huge purchases even more gratifying...almost like I've been preparing all this time to really spend some money.

And those moments sitting at a little cafe with a realtor, filling out documents and moving towards a place that we can call The Clarks' just feels really good.  Apple can't spoil that, even if they do reject my cookies.

Shannon Clark will work somewhere else, thanks very much.