Thursday, March 31, 2011

Zuul and the Supermoon


Did you hear about the Supermoon?

Yes, it was beautiful to behold the full moon when it was at its closest to Earth. But in retrospect, I wondered if there was more going on than just a lovely celestial spectacle. Despite the scientific arguments to the contrary, I think the Supermoon made us crazy.

I'll start with the hair crimping.


Yes, I busted out the crimper again. The 80s Movie Anthem Singalong at Alamo Drafthouse was on my calendar for several weeks. So was a 20-mile run, but I didn't notice that they occupied the same day until, well, that day. And I did not realize this convergence of these events coincided with the full moon's super duper closeness to us Earthlings, either.


Again, in retrospect, I should have. And not just because that day brought out such crazy extremes in me: both the exhausted remains of Post-20-Mile-Shannon, and the insane, crimped, dancing on stage to Huey Louis & The News Shannon.

No, I should have known that there was something strange going on when I began to resemble Zuul earlier on in the week. Not Sigourney Weaver Zuul.


This Zuul:



Do you ever experience that feeling? You know, where your evil twin is in control? I usually believe that it's due to lack of sleep or poor eating or dehydration. Yes, really, I think the biological basics get out of whack & render us unable to cope with the most basic of daily tasks. We cease to function properly.

Zuul takes over.

It's like suddenly being in the back seat of the Shannonmobile. I can see that I'm not the driver at all anymore, and I'm not really pleased with the route we're taking. Or the direction. But I remain helpless & just watch our collision course, knowing I'll have plenty of cleanup work when I return to driving again.

Still, there had to be more at play last week. People all over the place were going nuts. Relationships were on the rocks. Coworkers were mad at each other. Horn usage in traffic was up by at least 50%.

Brendon says my eyes get very dark when I am not the driver of the Shannonmobile. Later on, when I feel normal again, he says they look green & feels comfortable enough to laugh with me about...before.

Ha ha ha, wasn't it so funny the way I tried to make lightning bolts come out of my eyeballs at you while I screamed about _______?

(insert any useless, pointless, not-worth-screaming-about item here: the way strangers look at you, the way people pluralize everything by adding 's to words, the way your coworker laughs, leaving the seat up, putting inside-out shirts in the hamper, the ineptitude of the checkers at our HEB, etc)

Usually the Good Shannon hollers from the backseat that things are not going well. So I go to bed earlier, drink more water, have tea instead of coffee, and things go back to normal. Murderous rage is off the table; I take things in stride and can hear the birds chirping again.

Not this time. I believe there was more at play this time. That's why it took 20 miles of running and then a really strange evening of dancing around in neon spandex with both friends and total strangers.


The next day, I was back in the driver's seat. And every single muscle felt the pain of what I had done. Mystery bruises showed up; did we take chairs to the stage as dance props when Flashdance came on the screen? I had to go to Allie Borsch's Better Pain Scale to rate what I was feeling.

I think I was at her #4. My crimped hair and bruised legs limped to the coffee shop for a wake-up. There I walked through cigarette smoke, sat in crumbs, and listened to pretentious hipster music. All things that would have made me livid when I was possessed.

But Zuul had left the building. I was happy. I sipped some coffee and smiled at babies and reminisced about the night before. The Supermoon was gone, and there was no Zuul, only Shannon.

4 comments:

NicMills said...

OMG. That is hands down the scariest picture of Clay EVER! Hahahahahaa.

Kelly Tarleton said...

Supermoon made me crazy too! Although here it's the ineptitude of the checkers at Kroger. And YES, that is the scariest photo of Clay. Ever. hahaha

NicMills said...

Kelly - Shannon's claimed Zuul and I've claimed the Wampa from Star Wars for our evil SuperMoon alter egos. Who will yours be? Tough decision, I know.

Kelly Tarleton said...

I'm drawing a complete blank here. Maybe a Buffy/Angel villain?